THE OKLAHOMAN, April, 20, 2007
By Jenni Carlson
Kerry Alexander was but a sophomore at Oklahoma State the winter day tragedy struck him square.
A phone call shattered his world. First panic, then pain followed.
His father died from a heart attack.
Seventeen winters later, tragedy again struck the campus when a plane carrying 10 members of the OSU basketball family crashed. All of the men died. Alexander knew none of them personally but knew all too well the anguish of such loss.
It never completely goes away.
So it was a little more than a year ago that the OSU alum, who now works as a lawyer in Oklahoma City, hatched an idea — a way to celebrate those men killed in the crash and a means to benefit grief counseling services at OSU.
The Remember the Ten Run.
After months of work by dozens of folks, the inaugural 10K for the 10 will run Saturday in Stillwater.
"It's bigger than I thought it would ever be,” Alexander said.
Alexander and Co. hoped originally for 250 runners.
Early Thursday, they had almost 600.
This event has struck a chord with many. Runners are coming not only from across the state but also from across the country. There are participants from as far away as Pennsylvania. If runners have a good race experience, this could be the start of something special, something lasting.
Alexander hit on a whale of an idea.
During the winter of 2005, Alexander decided to read Bill Hancock's new book, "Riding with the Blue Moth.” Hancock's son, Will, was killed in the plane crash, and the book chronicles how he dealt with the loss, which included a coast-to-coast bike ride.
He began calling his grief "blue moth.”
The reason: it would hit him out of nowhere, like the blustery winds that would whip through and ruin a beautiful spring day during his Oklahoma childhood. His grandmother called it "blue northern,” but in her North Carolina accent, Hancock thought it sounded like "blue moth.”
As Alexander read Hancock's book, the words and the emotions resonated.
"It was just incredibly powerful,” he said.
Alexander realized that he, too, had been visited by the "blue moth.” Grief from losing his father would come unexpectedly, and as a college kid, it was sometimes difficult to handle. He had a good support system, lots of friends and dozens of fraternity brothers, and still, he struggled.
He'd long had a dream of going to law school.
"But ... I seriously thought about dropping out and coming home to help out the business,” said Alexander, who grew up in Cordell.
His father's death left his mother a widow at 41 and his 8-year-old sister without a father figure.
"I can remember feeling such great pain during that time,” Alexander said. "It was a real challenge to be away and focus on your studies.”
The idea of seeing a counselor never crossed his mind. Maybe it was a sign of the times. Maybe it was his Western Oklahoma upbringing.
Alexander knows now what an outlet it might have been.
And so as he read "Blue Moth” and reflected on his own loss, a seed began growing. Could there be a way to keep alive the memory of the 10 men who died in the plane crash while also doing something to help college students who might lose a loved one?
One night as he and his wife prepared for bed, Alexander told her about an idea for a memorial 10K.
A couple months later, he met with Karen Hancock, Will's widow, and floated the idea to her. She gave her support.
Soon after, the rest of the families did the same.
That opened the door for planning to begin in earnest. Mike Holder and Dave Martin in OSU's athletic department gave their support. So did Kirk Jewell at the OSU Foundation. Alexander called on several classmates from Leadership Oklahoma. Friends and strangers have pitched in, too.
"This event, the big thing is to remember ...,” Alexander said, "but I think below that, there are a lot of people that struggle. Look at what happens to college students when they struggle. They drop out. They turn to other ways to take care of their pain.”
Every tragedy brings pain, and even though some of it will always remain, there will be a time when you can live and breathe and smile and celebrate again. You can go on.
You can run.
If you are interested in volunteer or sponsorship opportunities with this annual event,
please e-mail Kerry Alexander at: kerrydonalexander@hotmail.com
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